Here's Why You Should Own Your Story

What if everything you've been told about getting older isn't just outdated but actually holding you back? If you're over 50, chances are you've absorbed stories about a supposed midlife decline—things like "acting your age," slowing down, or settling for less. But here's the truth: those narratives may be the biggest reason you feel stuck.

Researcher and author Lynda Gratton explains that for years, we've lived by a rigid, three-stage script for life:

• Education
• Career
• Retirement

This "peak and decline" mindset assumes life hits its high point somewhere in the middle and then simply winds down. But the world doesn’t work that way anymore.

In reality, people are starting new careers at 60, discovering fitness passions at 70, launching businesses in their 80s, and shattering outdated stereotypes about what life after 50 can look like.

Bruce Feiler calls these disruptions "lifequakes"—moments that shake up your story and invite you to rewrite it.

Breaking Free from the Myths About Aging

The Myth of Decline

By the time we hit 50, many of us unconsciously adopt what Feiler refers to as the "decline script." You might find yourself thinking, "I’m too old to try that," or "It’s time to step back."

When you believe this narrative, you start to filter out evidence that challenges it. A health concern, a missed promotion, or even another birthday all feel like "proof" that your best days are behind you. This belief can block you before you even try. Why apply for that dream job if you’ve already convinced yourself no one hires someone in their 50s?

Tunnel Vision

Our internal stories often focus on limitations, highlighting what we can’t do and ignoring our decades of knowledge, skills, and experiences. Feiler points out that life doesn't follow a simple upward curve followed by an inevitable dip. Instead, it oscillates. Ups and downs happen at every age—not because of the year on your birth certificate but because that's just life.

Missed Chances at Reinvention

When you tell yourself, "I can’t keep up with new technology" or "I don’t have the energy to try," that narrative becomes a sort of self-imposed barrier. Ironically, the things you believe are "impossible"—learning new skills, finding flexible work, or picking up a hobby—are often the tools that keep you excited, adaptable, and engaged in life.

Sticking to Stale Narratives Comes at a Cost

Ignoring the need to challenge these old, limiting stories can lead to real downsides:

Chronic Dissatisfaction

You may start feeling stuck or frustrated, as if life has somehow passed you by.

Shrinking Your Social Sphere

Buying into ideas of decline can make you pull back from opportunities—whether that’s avoiding new jobs, skipping invitations, or turning down activities that push you outside your comfort zone.

Stalling Personal Growth

Growth isn’t just a young person’s game. Psychologists emphasize that intellectual, emotional, and physical growth are essential to feeling fulfilled. When your story tells you “I’m done,” it can actually trigger mental and physical stagnation.

A Nonlinear Life Narrative Can Change Everything

Feiler encourages us to break free from the old "life script" and adopt a nonlinear narrative instead. This perspective acknowledges that life is anything but predictable or one-directional.

We all face lifequakes—unexpected challenges or opportunities—but these moments don’t have to be proof you’re "past your prime." They’re chances to pivot, to reinvent, and to grow.

A nonlinear approach means:

• Success isn’t measured by a single upward climb.
• Life’s twists and turns—planned or unexpected—are natural, not setbacks.
• You can create new roles, set fresh goals, and explore new dreams—no matter your age.

Meet Ramon, Proof of What’s Possible

Take Ramon, for instance. At 55, he’d spent decades designing corporate offices. He was financially stable but restless, convincing himself, "Just a few more years until retirement."

Then his company restructured, leaving him with more administrative work and fewer creative projects. Instead of clinging to the old narrative—“Nobody hires rookies at my age”—he started volunteering with an adaptive housing nonprofit.

Within months, he rediscovered a passion for designing creative living spaces. The nonprofit invited him to join their team, and, at 56, Ramon stepped into a brand-new chapter fueled by excitement, purpose, and creativity.

How to Rewrite the Stories That Hold You Back

If Ramon can do it, you can too. Here are three actionable strategies to help you shift your perspective and rewrite your story:

Perform a "Narrative Audit"

Write down the assumptions you have about yourself now that you’ve hit 50 or beyond. Are they facts or just old stories? For any limiting belief—like "I'm too old to switch careers"—replace it with an empowering statement, such as "My experience gives me unique strengths for this new role."

Actionable Tip: Spend 15 minutes listing three limiting beliefs tonight. For each one, write a positive alternative.

Start a Micro-Experiment

No need for drastic overhauls. Micro-experiments are ways to test new chapters of your life story without rewriting the entire script.

For example, if you've been telling yourself, "I'm tired of this career path," you could experiment with a new narrative by actively freelancing in another field or exploring a new industry at a networking event.

In this way, you're not taking massive risks. You're just gathering insights and expanding your possibilities of who you could be.

Actionable Tip: Think of a part of your story that feels limiting, then design a narrative that challenges it. For example, if you think you're bad at online writing, start posting articles online anyway and gather feedback. What does it feel like to live a different version of your narrative?

Find a Story Swap Partner

Connect with someone who’s also exploring a new chapter. Share your current narrative and help each other brainstorm ways to reframe limiting beliefs.

Actionable Tip: Reach out to a friend or colleague about swapping stories and supporting each other's growth.

Moving Forward—Your Rewrite Starts Now

Rethinking your story isn’t just "positive thinking;" it’s about rewiring your brain for possibility. This is backed by science—neuroplasticity shows that new habits and beliefs shape your mindset and unlock motivation, creativity, and resilience.

The idea that life "winds down" after 50? It’s not just outdated—it’s wrong. Lifequakes are invitations to shake things up and create a narrative that feels fresh and empowering.

This week, challenge one old story you tell yourself—just one—and commit to an action that defies it. Tell someone about what you’re doing because when you share your rewrite, you make it real. Start small if you need to, but don’t stand still. Your next chapter is waiting.

Now go write it.